Do you remember when you were a child? How many best friends did you have?
I seemed to have a lot of them and I liked them all for different reasons but I always had a “best best” friend who was over and above the most important. From adamantly declaring your best friends as a child to romantic/sexual relationships as an adult - I don’t know about you but I’ve always been of the mindset that you HAVE to make these things work. Because well… You just do!
But what if you don’t?
What if you’re just supposed to have certain people in your life, until you take the next step on your “journey”?
So many of us try to strain the life out of relationships and to what end? As I get older, I realise that perhaps some relationships are just stepping stones - that support you until the next step of your journey?
Sometimes this support lasts a few months, other times a couple of years and then it’s gone.
During that time you can be two peas in a pod but then things change and that person, or perhaps you, aren’t the support anymore.
It’s sad when any relationship ends, but it’s probably healthy. The difference between a romantic relationship (that so often seem to end badly) and a friendship, is that most friendships just seem to fizzle out.
The texts are less frequent, you can’t quite remember the last time you met up, you (and they) haven’t a clue about the terrible date you went on or even your latest work news. And if you do catch up, it’s awkward and it makes you not want to see them again any time soon.
So you find new people to fill the gaps, you begin a new journey or a deeper friendship and then you don’t even miss the other person - they don’t really even pop into your mind anymore. And then you’re not even sad about it, it’s just “one of those things”.
But it’s not a bad thing. We shouldn’t beat ourselves up about it.
Not everything is supposed to last a lifetime.
But it does make me appreciate the people who stick around no matter what. Like my best friend who loves over 100 miles away and who I can go without speaking to for weeks and then spend 3 hours on the phone to her laughing so hard that I cry.
For every “stepping stone” relationship/friendship I’ve had, I’m so happy to have people like her, who are not my stepping stones but are my rocks. I couldn’t be without these people.
They’re the relationships you want to last a lifetime.